Nature of Change
Updated: Oct 18, 2020
“The whole point of being alive is to become the person you were intended to be, to grow out of and into yourself again and again”
I came across this quote one morning in September. I woke up in a sort of melancholy mood. I sauntered over to my book shelf and picked up my copy of What I know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey. I flipped to page 127 and there it was, a chapter entitled “Possibility”.
The possibilities in our lives are limitless. As we grow out of ourselves, we birth anew. A new cycle begins.
As we process and clarify, we progress, and then we become confused, lost, and find ourselves looking for new types of clarity. We continue on and on…up the mountain we go. On our journeys, we walk.
Pondering and Defining Change
If you are reading this, you are likely going through your own changes as you navigate your personal growth journey.
As we rebirth ourselves time and time again, we let things go. We grow into our true Self once again - in this moment, Now. We constantly try to keep up with it all, but sometimes it's hard!
Over time our goals change, our minds change, and our desires change.
When we begin to make changes in our lives, when we connect with our Center and to our higher self, things in our external realities change too.
Then, when external realities shift, we must shift with them, continuing the cycle of transformation, adaptation, oscillation, and activation.
This is really challenging when behaviors, places, patterns, and people that used to be in alignment with us are no longer right for us as we evolve.
The world is waking up. Look around! A 16 year old girl from Sweden just became Time Magazine's Person of the Year because of her active role in the climate change crisis. Our society is waking up to the fact that our current political structure is hugely corrupt. Meditation studios are popping up left and right. People are leaving their 9-5 jobs and diving into the unknown.
Huge shifts of consciousness are happening both internally (on a micro scale), and externally - literally globally.
I came across a quote about how perhaps it's not that we are afraid of our darkness, but perhaps we are afraid of our Power - of our light. This has stuck with me ever since.
Is this why we don't allow ourselves to change?
Are we intimidated of ourselves and what we can accomplish?
Is this why so many of us play it small?
Are we afraid of what is underneath the self-denial of embracing ourselves, fully seen?
Are we getting too swept up in the possibilities of judgement and criticism?
How do we push fear aside?
Change is like entering a forest with 4 special superpowers - your head, your heart, your spirit, and your body.
As you enter this forest, there are parts of it that are so nourishing, nurturing, and parts that are terrifying (especially in the dark). The forest is vast, unknown, muddy. The path is not perfectly paved for us.
We have to rely on what we already have, what is both inside of us and physicalized in our bodily vessels. You may have some magic tools in your pockets that you can use to identify and solve problems, but occasionally nature throws a curve ball, and it comes back to you using your superpowers to get through it. These are the powers that are embodied within You.
It’s easy to get lost in a forest, to resort to the ego and distract ourselves because it feels easier in the short term. All of our superpowers are housed within us, and in the long term - literally eternally - they will never fail us.
Each challenge presented to you gives you the opportunity - or choice - to pick one or more of your superpowers. Each time you use a superpower, it only makes you stronger, so it’s important to balance all of them in order to aid you in your evolutionary forest adventure.
While we are changing - and this year feels particularly EPIC - it is crucial to not identify as the confusion, hardship, and emotional roller coaster before the process is complete. This is a sacred process of coming home to your Being. Change does not victimize you. Nothing is happening to you, but everything is happening for you.
To really receive, other things must fall away. This means clearing out things that no longer serve us so that we have space for the new to come through.
So how do we deal?
The Importance of Self-Care
It is absolutely crucial to deeply replenish the body and soul during times of immense change.
Because change is intense. Transformation requires us to literally formulate differently, to navigate our worlds differently, to try something new and to reconfigure. Ultimately, when we adapt to change - specifically changes in consciousness - it requires us to rewire our brain chemistry. This is no easy task.
We must give ourselves time in the “in between” to rest. This is the purgatory. This is the space between your own death and rebirth.
Self-care is not pretty. Self-care for me, many times over the past few months, was me crying in the shower on my hands and knees, letting self-doubt overwhelm me, and surrendering because I had no idea what any of this meant.
What am I supposed to step into?
Am I regressing because I don't feel like I am progressing in these darker moments?
First of all, NO. You are never regressing on your path if you are aware that you are on your path.
Resting is key, and for many of us, it is work. We are not used to slowing down and we rarely get permission to do so.
Anchor in to the sounds of your own silence. Give yourself permission to pause.
When we slow down and rest, we become more open to insights, downloads, and creative ideas. We find our way through the forest by listening to the sounds around us.
We can replenish our bodies in a number of ways, one of the easiest ways to do this is to gravitate towards behaviors that feel like home to you.
For instance, I am a huge tea drinker. To me, there is nothing more peaceful than making a cup of chai tea in the morning before I meditate. So, I started making my morning tea sacred. I began incorporating my intention setting into my tea, turning it into a tea ceremony, and drinking every last drop with the intention of swallowing and internalizing each and every intention for the day.
I think the scariest thing about change is the feeling of uncertainty. When we are changing, and things are shifting externally, not knowing what the future holds is terrifying. Although, to be fair, we never actually know what the future will bring regardless. We enjoy the illusion of control - it helps us feel safe and secure.
Change breaks the illusion that we are in control.
Fear comes up and disrupts. It puts our ego aside - usually abruptly.
For a few weeks I was unsure what the change was actually about. I just felt the shift and told myself to roll with it.
It was going well...until it wasn't.
I started to get really hard on myself for not "fixing" certain things in my life quickly. I became "suffering", embodying that frequency and becoming a victim. That was until I shifted my mindset to an observer perspective.
I began witnessing my suffering, my frustration, and my confusion. I began studying my own behaviors and triggers, my emotions, and my pain, all by just observing myself, without judgement.
Then, I began to question things.
So I began studying through reading, listening to podcasts, and going to community circles, cacao ceremonies, and yoga classes to help me tap in and find the answers I was seeking.
Change or no change - when the shadow side comes up, it's a beautiful mystery that only we can solve. But we have to agree to do the work.
I choose to find comfort in the uncomfortable moments.
I choose to not wait for any outside validation.
I choose my path every single day.
Each time we practice coming back to our center, it gets easier and easier.
Now, I can see clearer.
The Universe will never give you something you cannot handle.
Trust, Surrender, and Remember
It has taken me nearly three months to write this piece, because each time I sit down to write, I've been questioning myself. Does this make sense? Does any of this matter?
Remember when we are going through uncomfortable shifts in consciousness, our brains spaz out because they are not used to stepping into these new stages of personal growth. Our brains consider this new territory as "unsafe" - like an overprotective parent.
Sometimes we just simply don’t have all of the answers. Plans become de-railed, energies shift and shuffle. We have to just surrender. We have to trust.
Surrendering is an interesting concept I've been working with. Yes, go with the flow, if you let go you can have it all. However, we have to remember that we need to surrender with a direction. We cannot just throw our hands in the air and quit. We still have to be the ones taking action within the surrender.
We are responsible for our lives. We are the creators of our reality. We choose our paths. If your path is unconventional - mine certainly is - we are bound to receive judgement and criticism from others. This is particularly painful when those close to us do not support us.
It comes down to trusting yourself. Knowing that no matter what, you have you. You know what you want, and you have a divinely beautiful life purpose. We all do.
But you have to love yourself so much, and trust yourself so much to know that everything is always working out for you best case scenario.
If you are taking action and doing your best, guess what? It is ENOUGH.
We do not need to figure everything out NOW. Our paths are not linear, just as forests are not perfectly paved.
What I've learned more than anything these past few months is that intuition guides. We must trust our creative essence. We must trust our internal wisdom. We must trust our bodies to tell us when something is not right.
When the world becomes too much, remember to turn to your place of Home.
Write, walk, create, play, and get lost in your soul's favorite place. Nurture within, and you will never, ever be misguided.