Written musings from the tail end of September :)
As the leaves change from summer to stripped bare to prepare their winter wardrobe
The rain washes away all of my worries with the rhythmic sound of pitter pattering on the pavement
This time ‘round I found all my childhood things in boxes stuffed away in my closet
A closet I must clear and, therefore, uncover the fossils within before making space for what’s to take its place.
I’m heading to New York in early October and keeping a low profile
I have one week to clear my storage unit and officially say hasta pronto.
All of the things will be coming back here.
I found trophies and plaques and yearbook entries from the people who shaped me.
I learned a lot about myself over the last three days, just musing over remnants of the foundation of who I am.
I saw the perfectionist, who so badly wanted to keep up with herself…
Who so much loved winning and making her family proud…
I saw the people pleaser who emerged in 5th grade to fit in with the cool girls…
Who straightened her hair to straw and pretended to be confident…
I look now, up above the boxes, and see the goodies I’ve collected from my travels, from old jobs, from thrifting and sifting.
I gaze at this dream wardrobe I so badly wished I had as a little girl.
This trip to Minnesota is different.
It places me in a space in between, just as the trees move from summer to autumn
Moving from the external world of vibrance to the internal world that has many different shapes, sizes, and moods.
I spend time in this space of wonder.
No plans after November 15th, except a beach.
Minnesota, you always help me come home, one way or another...