Some words for a gentle heart.
When I published my blog about two years ago, I was super nervous and scared to share my voice, let alone my opinions.
I eventually started actually sharing my work on social media channels, and to my surprise, I received the most incredible feedback. Not everyone wants to read a 10 minute blog post, but a few do, and that’s what makes me happy. In sharing my story, and bringing through the lessons, I realized i was actually helping people (which blows my mind).
Building My Business With Heart
My goal has been and continues to be not only about cultivating tribe, but to also demonstrate that
1. Lessons can be found in every experience.
2. That in storytelling (and using our voice) we make sense of our own reality.
3. In sharing our story we remember that we are not alone. We are all connected.
I got into a steady rhythm of posting weekly, and then gradually fell off as I’ve been on a wild self-discovery journey (truly hyper-speed and high velocity) since the end of May this year (2019).
The more pressure I put on myself as a business owner to market my work because of consistency, and numbers of followers, clients and dollar signs, the less authentic it FEELS. The “you should be posting more” voice that runs through my head kills my creativity - making my work feel plastic and synthetic - which this world does not need more of.
And unlike the left brained dominance in our society, I value how I FEEL (not just what i “think”), and what I am building must feel aligned.
I am not here to get rich by profiting off thousands of people who are desperate for a breakthrough and will pay anything for it. I’m here for the folks (even if there are only a few) who are drawn to me, who are genuine and willing to grow, and who courageously create their reality based on what aligns for them and assists in a collective, Divine, and pure intention.
Last night in ceremony I realized that I have not been very compassionate towards myself when it comes to my writing. I’ve been journalling A LOT more (something I hadn't been doing as much when I was posting more frequently on my blog). This process is deep, and some things need to be kept to myself. So why do I beat myself up about it? Will a true balance ever be perfectly reached (& sustained)?
In contemplating this... I think not.
Many (if not all) aspects of our lives at one point or another will always be out of balance.
Balance comes and goes, ebbs and flows. It is human nature for our emotions, intuition, & higher wisdom to occasionally dumbfound our logical, left brain thinking and fall off a diet, stop creating art for a period of time, act out, and burn out.
We are complex beings who push so hard to survive and thrive in our modern world. It’s just not that easy. It’s not supposed to be.
Moments of perfect balance have occurred in my life, true harmony. It is bliss. It is joy. It is peace and centeredness. But it is of course, by the nature of our Universe, temporary.
With this said, I share these words that you are welcome to use, take, and share.
Today, I give myself compassion for the hard work I do to survive in New York City, and for choosing to live a life that is aligned with me (even if it takes 4 jobs and causes financial uncertainty).
I give myself compassion for the many days I go to one job, come home, and do more work in order to be of service.
I give myself compassion for the times in which I act out of character because I’m exhausted, irritable, and anxious about the long days ahead.
I give myself compassion for neglecting my blog in order to fill my heart up privately in ceremony, with my sacred pen and paper.
I give myself compassion for the habits I break, and restart, because I know I’ll keep pushing forward.
I give myself compassion for the times I need to simply rest and fill up my cup, avoiding social events or networking events I “should” be going to.
I give myself compassion for holding a brave face while huge shifts make me feel like my world is crumbling.
I give myself permission to create this world from the heart, with the diamond fluorescent white light energy of love and compassion flooding my body, mind, and spirit.
I invite you, and empower you, to give some of the energy that you pour into the world back to yourself today.
Alchemize your attention into your intention...breathe in, breathe out.
Birthed from a place of self-awareness, we must remember that self-compassion is key to our progress. We cannot evolve without embracing the messy, along with the clean.